Welcome back to the BUM Report, session 3 of season 12, where things are topsy-turvy and it's an all-out dance party at Spokane!  Apparently, Olmec has moved on from tormenting Jason's 'Squatch as a favored hobby, as Spokane has now pulled an upset in two straight sessions (though just at -2 this past weekend, not snatching a top 3 upset mention) in the midst of a four-match winning streak.  Olmec could, of course, just be setting him up for a soul-crushing upset defeat in the near future.  In the mean time though, dance like you're in the 'Squatch T7 after session 3's matches! (Libero not pictured above due to not having alternate color sunglasses available for the media shot)

Kicking off the Blowouts of the Week we had three matches that turned heads for their one-sided nature.  We'll start in match 7, Quincy at Pekin.  Al had the Mules focused elsewhere in the sesssion, dropping teams rated 86 in match 8 and 83 in match 9.  That left little to send to Pekin, and the Rabid Biting Colts made an appearance, with a 64-rated team.  Pekin, on the other hand, came out to play.  Roger had the Legume Legion ready for battle, and laid out the highest home-rated team of the season to date, at 92.  The resulting 28-pt rating difference was the third-most we've seen this season, which paired quite nicely wiht the 36-pt blowout resulting from the 'match', as that's the third highest blowout mark of the weekend.  While Quincy managed to make it into the teens in sets 2 & 3, Pekin held them to 9 in the opening set.  No doubt, this is a Quincy team that can't rebuild fast enough against the Big 8 powerhouses like Pekin.  Ignore their WGM group successes; it's all smoke and mirrors.

Coming in at blowout #2 in the session, we jump ahead to match 8, conference play in our blowout-heavy Pac 8, as noted last week.  The BUM Report is very pleased to see that they aren't letting off any time soon!  This week featured two top blowouts as well, starting with Mat-Su at San Jose.  The Mighty Meese were all over their opponent at home, playing at an 82-rating.  On the road though, they mailed in a 70.  The Shrimp were less-than-impressed, as was Olmec.  Though only 16-pts difference, San Jose's 86 was more than enough to overwhelm Bryce's team in each set, keeping it very similar with an 11-25, 13-25, 12-25 romp, and resulting 39-pt blowout, which sets a new #3 for the season!  Congrats to Vick, who we also have to give credit for being the first Pac 8 team to throw out a top Away lineup too! Match 7, 89 away rating at Tucson, tying the top away mark for the season-to-date. That was good for... a 1-3 road loss to Amy's 86-rated home team. A minor upset, yet the first Pac 8 match to not end in a sweep this season, so Vick at least broke up that streak!  Better luck will probably fall next weekend if Vick's potent T7 keep bringing the heat on the road as well as their home beach court.

And topping the blowouts we bounce back to match 7, conference play in (you already guessed it, right?) the Pac 8!  Albuquerque has not had great success in Carlsbad historically, and Kelsey's lineup suggests she's not looking to change that pattern this season.  The Trash Pandas brought a 64 to HyperColor Stadium.  The crazy-eyed home team feasted, with their own 80-rated team.  Phil was merciless, bookending 13-25 wins in sets 1 and 3 with a thorough trouncing in set 2, holding the Masked Bandits to single digits, ending it 9-25.  Rumor has it that the Chameleons went a step further and also chained down the trash can lids behind the stadium, depriving Albuquerque of snacks for the long and silent drive back home!  That's how you top off a statement win, Olmec fans, making sure they know you've got them beat on and off the court!  Congrats to Phil and the Chameleons for the 40-pt Blowout of the Week, and the #2 mark on the season to date (just falling short of matching San Jose's 41-pt win in match 1).

And on the Upsets of the Week!  And there were plenty to choose from, as we had a total of 10 upsets this past weekend!  It took more than a garden-variety win to get our attention, so all those -2 and -3 matches get a subtle nod of respect from the BUM Report without further detail, including our Tucson and Spokane wins already noted above as well as small splashes in the Pool of Upset Tears by Ames (match 7) and Burlington (match 9).  More on the other minor upset later, which is rarely a good thing in this column!  Because we're all about Upsets and Sweeps, we're starting with our three Upset Sweeps of the Week. As noted above for Spokane, match 7, at Manitowoc, Derek had the slight home edge at 69-67, yet couldn't pull out a set. It got worse as the match progressed, ending 25-21, 25-19, 25-14, as Jason slipped under the Igneous Walltoppers' gazes and did a conga line back to the woods of eastern Washington with the -2 upset sweep.  On the opposite side of the continent, the Sea Cows were hosting the Bloodhounds.  Mark gave it a good showing, putting out 80 at home.  Eduard gave it one (or four) better, with an 84-rated away team.  Clearly not pleased with prior conference results, the 'Hounds came to play in both SEC matches, and both resulted in sweeps. This one was not the sweep he may have been hoping for.  Instead, the Do-Rag Dugongs held off the 'Hounds increasing frenzy, 18-25, 19-25, 23-25 to pull off the -4 Upset Sweep, good for the #3 Upset Sweep of the season so far!  Congrats to Mark and our aquatic mammal contingent for the league!

And in the #1 Upset Sweep mark for the session (and #2 season overall), we go to Match 8, at Portland.  The 'Jacks are still recovering from the early season learning curve about Fit, while the Tomatoes were focused on the WGM (88) and their home match (81).  A 70-away rating is "meh" from Steve.  Despite that, Olmec saw fit to blow a kiss to its once-darling squad, raising concerns that Steve's team is both better and luckier than the rest of us this season.  Our newest manager deserved better, yet first session love has turned to third session indifference, and Portland suffers the -5 home Upset Sweep by Steve and the Tomatoes!  They kept it close (25-22, 27-25, 25-22), yet the 'Jacks couldn't get the late match runs they needed to overtake the seasoned Round Red Army.

On to the regular variety of upsets, we had a tie with Steve's -5 to end our session, match 9, WGM group play.  Ames brought a respectable 76.  Colin could have perhaps upped the ante a little more given his upset-minded opponent.  San Diego and Matt already have our top upset of the season at -7. Or perhaps Colin thought that it wouldn't matter if what Olmec wants can't be stopped? In any case, the Swordfish came back from a 10-pt beatdown in the third set (falling behind 2-1) only to rally in the fourth (25-17) and take the fifth in dramatic fashion (15-13) with a grand splash in the Upset Pool of Tears, and steal the WGM group win at -5.

And tying at our top mark for the session, we had two matches end up with -6 upsets!  Both in WGM play, match 9.  We start with Santa Clara at St. Charles.  Max almost has his team rested as desired, and put out a 79.  Martyn, no stranger to this column, played a 73, and chose to throw the away match this session in conference play instead.  Olmec appears to have favored the bold move against a hard tourney draw, and gifted the all Bark and Bite Chihuahuas with a set 5 15-13 nailbiter victory for the -6 Upset.  Congrats to Martyn!

In the other match going on simultaneously, we saw Amy and the Spikin' Cacti face off against Arlington. It was truly a back-and-forth match, featuring a 25-27 set 3, 28-26 set 4, and a concluding 15-12 needling set 5, as the Anteaters fell despite outscoring Tucson for the match as a whole by a point. So congrats to Amy for tying the Upset of the Week along wiht Martyn, and setting a new #2 mark for Upset of the Season!  Amy looks to be a tough opponent this season, as they also upset Vick's Shrimp in match 7 despite being outscored as well (by 2). The Pac 8 is on notice that simply outscoring Tucson may not be enough to beat them!

And on the More front of the BUM Report, we have teams continuing to push the top lines higher and higher.  Notably this session:

Road Teams making waves - Alton (86) and a three-way tie for the new top road lineup with 89, San Jose, Cinci, and Pekin.

Home Teams making statements - Sheboygan (89) and a new top lineup for the season, Pekin at 92!

On Neutral Court - we had three teams put in the new #3 mark, 84, with Mat-Su, Teutopolis, and Alton.  Only Alton faired well though, as the Red Pandas mailed in a 68 for their WGM match.  T-Town suffered a -3 upset to derail C-Ball's high seed hopes, while Bryce walked into the Salad Shooter of the season so far, and Steve's now-top neutral rating at 88! The Tomatoes had to go to 27-25 to win set 3 for the sweep, yet pulled it off along with the top seed for the WGM knockout rounds.

And our final note for The Opposite of Trying match this session.  First off, we must note that nobody played a "bottom three" lineup this session, away or in neutral matches! Congrats to most teams for trying! That being said, that raises our bar slightly and one match hit it dead on.  WGM group play, match 9, with Merritt Island and Schenectady.  Both teams decided conference matches needed their attention, and dropped their weakest lines here.  There were only two teams who fielded lineups below 60 in match 9, and they were both featured in this one, with the Sea Cows at 58 and the Squirrels hoarding nuts elsewhere and doing them one (or four) worse with a 54.  The resulting 112 combined ratings points wasn't just the lowest of the session, it is thus far the lowest of the season!  So the Opposite of Congratulations to Mark & Brian for this match, where we're sure there were more points by error than by kill, and can't be bothered to watch in detail to confirm or deny that.

So there are your new marks to beat, and congrats to everyone NOT mentioned in this column for not getting upset or blown out, and doing the Safety Dance to your own beats this week.  Until next weekend, when the Pool of Upset Tears is refilled yet again, your friends at the BUM Report are signing off, and enjoying the 'Squatch afterparty, 'cause nobody parties like hairy naked men with very questionable social skills in the middle of the woods!