The pentultimate BUM report of Season 11, spoilers below, as always.  And maybe a trigger warning for Jason, just to be safe.

For those wondering about the image, there is a link with Blowouts, Upsets and More! from this past weekend.  For those keen and observant, you'll notice the Atomic # for Francium is 87.  For those scientific-esque, you might note that Francium is a room temperature solid of the alkali metal family, and somewhat resembles silver (as in, second place medals, which in a 2-team competition means: losers).  And for those of a keen recollection from your days in classes staring at the multi-colored table on the wall while the teacher droned on about neutrons and electrons, you will also note that #87, Francium, is highly radioactive and unstable, and should be avoided.  You know where this is going...

To start with Upsets this week, after that setup, we had a bundle!  Specifically, we featured 11 upsets ranging from -1 to -6 out of 36 matches.  Of those 11 upsets, the 'upset' team had a team average rating of 87 a whopping SIX times.  Three of these were in match 39, conference play, and were minor upsets of -2 to -4, namely Albuquerque (83) over San Jose (87), New Orleans (85) over Starkville (87), and Burlington (83) over Mendon (87).  Of far greater interest were the other three upsets.

There were, of course, 4 matches being played in the National Championship and Holyoke Tourney semifinals.  Of those 4 matches, 3 of them featured a team rated higher on neutral court, and all with the same rating:  87.  (more on the 4th match in a bit)  In each of those three semifinals, the higher-rated team at 87 ALL lost.  Starting in the Nat'l Tourney, we had Denali on one half of the court, the only team with two -10 or more upsets this season.  They should have known it was already over the moment the teams were announced and the other squad only rated at 86.  Look who it was.  Oh. Wow. Who could have seen that coming?  The Bats, of course, are Olmec's ongoing darling (ignoring their own 'upset' this session when Sheyboygan sent in a 'we really don't care' road lineup to Manitowoc in match 39, when the Bats' 73 rating got 'upset' by the Gargoyles' home 71. Red herring match, take no stock in it).  At least this one went to five sets before Olmec's love for the Bloodsuckers could not be contained, and John gets a shot at what may be the Upset of the Season by way of importance as they make the Nat'l Tourney final against a team that just tied the highest neutral court lineup of the season in the semis (again, more on that in a bit).

In the Holyoke Semis, we saw two 87-rated favored teams come in with high expectations... of being upset.  First, we had the high-flying Screaming Eagles.  James had a solid shot at advancing, so much so that even Rob predicted his own team would lose handidly, or talondly? Wingedly? Beakedly?  Not sure which appendage to roll with here so we'll just go with:  even Rob thought Antioch was dead in the water, belly up, raptor food.  To be clear, Antioch gave it their best lineup and were rated at 84, only 3 down per man.  Olmec perhaps felt a shred of pity for the 'Fish after all their lack-of-love this season, though it's not like Alton has been showered with grand fortunes either.  While the first match was close, 25-21, that's really as close as it got for Alton.  Set two was worse at 25-18, and James' avian force couldn't get back to 20 in set three either, dropping 25-19.  That means that this semifinal wasn't just a -3 upset, it was an Upset Sweep!  While a far cry from cracking our top 3 upset sweeps this season (-7, -9, and Kelsey's ridiculous -13 way back in match 19), none have been on a grander stage than a season-ending tourney semifinal!

And in the other semifinal, we feature another column regular, though one who really, really, really doesn't like being here.  Hello again, Jason and the 'Squatch!  It didn't matter at all when you won set 1 did it?  You knew, just KNEW that Al and the Mules were rallying back as the #1 seed to take sets 2-4, didn't you?  Sure, Al's "best" team only mustered an 85, two ratings-points lower per player.  Sure, the Mules are down this season, playing in their first ever Holyoke Tourney, and marking what may therefore be Al's worst statistical season, being in the lower half of the league rankings at mid-season.  Sure, everybody and their brother (okay, well, maybe not your brother) was hoping that the 'Squatch would redeem something this season as they have fought hard and put out solid lines to little avail in the win column.  But what did that matter in a semifinal where Spokane was actually favored to advance to the final?  It mattered for two things:  Diddly. and. Squat.  I have no idea what the equivalent expression is for our lads across the pond.  Probably something seemingly innocuous, yet sounding profoundly profane when said in a Scottish accent or oddly suggestive when going with Cockney.  I look forward to being educated on this topic in the comments, as long as it doesn't violate our league standards of decency.  However it needs to be phrased, the result here speaks for itself as Quincy pull the -2 upset in the Holyoke semis and hold onto the #1 seed heading into the final against the now-under-fish Antioch team.  If both play their T7s, it would seem we will be seeing an Antioch 84, Quincy 85 matchup, which could be dangerously close to ending up 84-84 or 85-85 and giving us no chance of an Upset at all!  Oh, the horror for this column!  We hold out hope that one team will take pity on us at the BUM Report and play the whole B-team, so if we don't see an Upset, we'll likely see a Blowout!

Before moving on to our top 3 Upsets of the Week, we need to recap the 4th match of the semis, because it certainly stands out as the exception to the rule for this column.  As noted above, the other three matches saw teams where the favored team was rated at 87, and all lost.  The first semifinal of the Nat'l Tourney saw Columbia come in with a 91, 2nd highest rating for a neutral court this season.  Who'd they face?  Portland.  Top T7 and it showed, as they dropped a 92, tied for #1 neutral court line this season (4th time this season they've done it, and only Nashville has matched that number thus far).  The combined 183 rating is the highest neutral court talent clash of the season, and the 2nd-highest combined rating for all matches this season.  The one that topped it, because of the +4 home rating bonus?  Conference Tourney final, featuring the same two teams:  Columbia (90) at Portland (96).  These two juggernauts faced off again here, and featured a set two that went to 29-27 before Portland ended it, a set 3 rally by Columbia to keep it alive, and then a strong run in set 4 of 3-point streaks for the 'Jacks to take a commanding lead that they didn't relinquish, winning in 4 sets to advance to the Nat'l Championship final.  Given the teams and matchups in the last session, across all competitions, this could be the top match of the season.  The only chance to tie or break it will be the TMVL Cup final between Portland and Cincinnati, which should be an excellent match and one worth watching for us all!

And now we count down our top 3 Upsets of the Weekend.  Starting at a tie for #2, at -5 rating, we start in conference play with match 39, Alton hosting... sigh... seriously Olmec?  Again?  Yep.  Jason and Spokane.  The 'Squatch send a solid 80-rated team on the road.  Not quite their best (saving that understandably for the Holyoke semis).  Still, an 80.  Alton, also playing int two semis (Cup & Holyoke), didn't have much to spare and even with the home bonus only came to 75.  We have seen this episode mutiple times this season.  Not just an upset, oh, no, no, no!  It had to be an Upset Sweep at -5, with Spokane falling just close enough to have hope until the final ball dropped, 23-25, 22-25, 22-25.  On the bright side, there's only one more session until Olmec picks a new whipping boy next season, Jason!

Tying that mark, we head to match 41, TMVL Shield Semifinal.  On the neutral court, Schenectady continue to flex their late-season might, dropping an 89-rated team (a mark they matched on the road at Cinci in conference play, only there they faced a home-rated 94 from the Hogs, who have generally, and specifically here, avoided being upset this season).  On the other side, we had Starkville. Eduard's Hounds came out of the kennels with an 84-rated team.  As noted in this column before though, Dogs Hate Squirrels (see match 25's 34-point Starkville blowout of Schenectady).  The results here in the Shield semis were not as lopsided, though this was still an Upset Sweep at -5, and the opening set (15-25) had the Squirrels treed and flicking their tails angrily at the slobbering masses below.  While Brian's arboreal rodents made a decent effort in the next two sets (20-25, 22-25), the match was already done.  Eduard advances to the Shield final seeking his first-ever hardware in TMVL, against multi-time national champ Max and the Scarecrows (who coincidentally have never won the Shield themselves).

And topping the weekend, we have another familiar figure in the upset department: Matt and the Swordfish!  Match 39, San Diego traveling to Carlsbad for conference play.  San Diego didn't make much effort, coming with a 72-rated team on the road.  To put that figure in perspective, in match 39, it was the second lowest rating for any road team (only three others were even under 80, Sheyboygan at 73 and Tucson at 78 and a [see blow in blowouts]).  Carlsbad though, is having a horrid run of luck.  Losers now of 9-in-a-row, and featuring a -6 upset for the second straight weekend (to Quincy last weekend).  Their last win was over San Diego back in session 7.  The Swordfish get revenge here with the upset, seeing through the camoflague of Phil's Chameleons and stabbing their way to victory.  Congrats to Matt for the Upset of the Week!

Having taking multiple paragraphs in our upsets recaps, we'll keep it short on Blowouts! this week.  I'll highlight just the top 3.  Starting in match 41, TMVL Shield, consolation matches.  We had a tie, featuring matches where one team clearly was trying, and the other was clearly not.  San Jose (87) and San Diego (70) was a straight-sets domination as the Swordfish used up all their luck in the prior conference match.  Vick's Crustacean Crew swam circles around the Swordlessfish in this one, holding them to 13 & 14 points in sets 1 & 2 before coasting on the tides of victory and giving up a massive 18 in the last set.  A short hop away, we had the Peas from Pekin (86) featured in the Shield against Kentucky (65).  The 21-ratings points difference was the highest of the weekend, and Roger's Legume Legion showed that might in the first set, holding the Kittens to a mere 8 points.  I'm fairly certain at this point Pekin started trying to show off and have all their hitters use their off hands to spike, giving Kentucky's libero a prayer of digging some hits, and leading to 25-18, 25-19 over the final two sets.  Both matches ended at 3-0 sweeps, +30 total points, tied for #2 on the weekend.

And tops on the weekend for Blowouts, we welcome back a familiar face to the column, Craig and the Bulldogs!  Match 39, conference play.  Spurred on by Amy's blessings and encouragement (see match comments for details), Craig's 'Dogs romped from the home kennels with a 90-rated team.  The Mules hee-hawed their way into Dallas in the back of a cattle trailer.  Perhaps for this match, we should call them the Jennies instead of the Mules.  Quincy posted a 69, lowest by 3 for the entire conference match slate on the weekend.  Perhaps fearing any lineup would lose on the road to a tactical genius like Craig, perhaps utterly demoralized by his wife's apparent endorsement of the opposition, perhaps saving his T7 for the Holyoke semis and the... um... Cup consolation match (40, vs. Santa Clara)? or needing XP after getting yet another tutorial from Steve on how he should be building his team to avoid dropping even lower on the league-wide standings?  Really, we have no good excuse for Al's utterly insulting lineup here versus such a kind and upstanding manager and column fave like Craig.  The 21-ratings points difference matched the weekend high, and Craig did one better than Roger, sweeping Al's Hooved Hybrids to the tune of 10-25 and 12-25 before playing with their prey in the third set (22-25) and capping off the Blowout of the Week at 31 points!  Congrats, Craig!

And finishing of the column this week with the And More! portion, we continue to see teams flex late-season might as the freshman get capped off on playing time and there is nothing holding the seniors back from one last weeend of glory.  Roger and the Peas' season-long struggle for respect continues, as they put out an impressive road 88-rating against Ames in conference play (who matched at home with 88, and went on to sweep the Peas as if they were already split and boiled for a later soup dinner).  Not sure what Roger has done to upset Olmec so much this year, as Roger has LOST away matches when rated at 88 twice and 90 twice, while also losing neutral court matches rated at 90 and 91.  Other team leaving marks include Columbia posting a 95-rating at home against Portland while holding out hope of a tie for the conference title (tied for 2nd-highest this season at home), and we also have a new mark for highest away-rated team in Nashville, who put out a whopping 93 On The Road!  No one else has topped 90 for a road rating this season, so it came as little surprise that Mark and the Manatees were overwhelmed early and often to the Red Pandas ongoing SEC dominance this season.

At this point, going by the ratings, Portland stands as the team to beat (92, neutral court) in both the Cup final (Cinci, top neutral mark 90) and the Nat'l Championship (vs Sheboygan, so massive upset alert with the Bats' top neutral line being a mere 86 so far).  Quincy is the slight favorite (85) in the Holyoke over Antioch (84), and in the Shield final we have Starkville (84) as slight odds-holders over St. Charles (81).  All marks subject to being utterly ignored by Olmec, because as much as Olmec hates you and your team, Olmec must love the BUM Report to continue feeding us our featured follies to provide the utmost quality in fair and unbiased reporting that our discerning readers have come to expect from this Opposite of Journalism operation.

Oh, wait!  We almost failed to get in the latest column feature (absent a BUS siting, which we didn't have this week), our Opposite of Trying Match of the Week!  In this one we travel to match 41, TMVL Shield.  The bottom 4 of the consolation brackets, battling out 13th place through The Wooden Spoon.  Makes it easier to find when they self-identify in the post-match comments too.  See match for details, as Manitowoc put out pebbles with fanged faces drawn on them, rated at 64.  That tied the lowest 'effort' of the entire weekend (hi, Steve! We noticed you mailing in the Shield semis too, only you get a slight pass because you were playing Portland twice and T7'd 'em both times vying for Conference and Nat'l Tourney glory).  On the other half of the court, Antioch came out marginally better, though the Glowlight Guppies were also sub-80, mustering a mere 78.  Rob played the Holyoke Semis tougher, of course, though for perspective they played a conference match rated 81 on the road.  Third match of the weekend, and getting the least effort, Antioch only gets a little pass here.  Not enough to overcome the combined 142 ratings though, that were not only a ridiculous 41 combined points lower than our top-rated match (CCT 91 vs POR 92), they set the bar for lowest combined rating of the entire weekend.  Fitting for a match sending a team to play for the Wooden Spoon, the Opposite of Congratulations to Rob and Derek for The Opposite of Trying match of the session!

One session to go.  Lots of meaningless (for standings and hardware purposes) matches still to be played.  The BUM Report eagerly awaits our year-end results and hopes (if the writer has sufficient time) to have a season-end recap grab bag featuring a notable stat for every team that might sum up their season.  That's in addition to our season-long running Upset, Upset Sweep and Blowout of the Season awards, of course.  Play hard (some of you) and Not So Hard (others) to be sure to give us one more session of BUM Report fodder before the long off-season of discontent sets in as we await getting flattened by the rolling Olmec Head of 'random' stat generation doom for our treasured 5* recruits that bankrupted us while the 4* bargain players turned out better.  Because that's how Olmec rolls.  The BUM Report continues to hold true to our mantra:  You're never out of any match, unless Olmec decides you were out of it before it started.  Best of fortunes to all in finals as we look forward to crowning new First Time Champs in several of the competitions and Conferences!