Chippenham's forward line presents what I can only describe as an insurmountable mismatch against Marine's defensive unit, and I say this with the weary certainty of someone who has watched too many football matches to still find them surprising. Marine's back line, led by the uninspiringly average Bianchi and Rodriguez, will spend the afternoon chasing shadows while Blucher does precisely what better defenders should prevent. I predict a 3-0 home victory, which will feel like a triumph to everyone involved except me, because nothing does.

Chippenham are an absolute steamroller at home tonight — Marine's forward line looks toothless against a defence anchored by Torres and Otero, and I reckon they'll barely sniff the Chippenham box all evening. Clemence in goal might as well bring a folding chair because the real carnage is happening at the other end, where Blucher is going to tear through Marine's backline like a wrecking ball through thin ice. Marine have brought a knife to a gunfight, and this home fortress is going to be brutal.